If you're here you probably know/knew me
Whatever the case, help yourself to my blahblahs, however interesting they may be.


bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

nowadays its really nothing but just random sounds rolling off my tongue to fill the silence
it used to be in english but nowadays....AHAHHA!
i dont even wanna call it 'KOREAN' coz i've concluded the only ppl who ACTUALLY know what the actual lyrics are those who can read it
they romanize it but at the end of the day..everyone spells it differently..ahaha
but hey..ppl like me, we make do but complain of course. AHAHH!

so anyway
ive been ordered to pack
PACK PACK PACK
it just never ends
Pack before leaving
pack when you arrive
pack to leave again
pack when you return
and pack till its time to return to THE WORLD
AHAHH!

oh gosh
other than tt
all I can say is tt i wanna be a hermit
thats all
random thought yes.
ok I want to be a hermit crab in a small hermit crab house with the hermit crabs i want around me ( im having fun just imagining faces pasted on crabs with different shells)
wouldnt it be great to just live in your own world?
all these social things are just so tiring at the end of the day.
not just abt the maintaining ties for the sake of maintaining
or for the fact tt things never ACTUALLY concluded and you have to continue humouring each other
or that you just have to really at the end of the day " show/save face"

one example: went marina sq last night with family
walked by this myanmarnese restaurant and there was a bride (who was myanmarnese) standing there very simply but nicely dressed and made up
and realised they were having their wedding reception at that restaurant
which i thought was cool
and ideal
like just call who you wanna call along to your special day and spend time with them
tts all

then my mum and i got to talking abt how wedding dinners how you have to call ppl who you dont even see sometimes even at CNY.
i mean if its like mutually understood should you REALLY get upset over the fact tt you werent invited or informed?
i mean i get the whole thing abt " but after all shes your auntie of the extended family who broke ties 20 yrs ago..." kinda thing
like i know WHY it has to be done
but just imagine how nice it would be if you could just NOT have to bother abt things like that
but i guess id rather ppl get upset they werent informed rather than pretend that things are something that they are not.
So fake and i would even say stupid EQ-wise
not to mention how being fake is tiring for both parties

socialising is just so hard
expectations are just bleah sometimes

solution? Hermitize yourself and your world :) back to top?

WOW

awesomeness i tell you

i actually get 12hrs of sleep nowadays
its almost scary
kinda depressing actually
like i sleep 1/2 the day away
but its cold and my bed's cosy
AHAHAH!!

but anyway
its all good
now while im enjoying myself everyone else ard me is studying
except my OT ppl lah
AHAHAHH!

i feel kinda guilty sometimes for taking up study space when im down in the common room
like i am now
but HEY! im as entitled to facilities as anyone else irregardless of the time of yr
WHEEEE!
ahh..the light feeling in my heart...how i love it so much..

anyway was supposed to go swimming today
but i woke up super late again
and i decided to just forgo lunch
and just had tea. literally afternoon tea. teh tarik and 2 small brownies
then tried to master more of Norago~ on guitar and ive more or less nailed it
BOO YEA
but i dont dare to play too loudly in case i distract the ppl on my floor
so yea

and i started phase 1 of packing
its still kinda hard to pack coz well i still need things
and i actually have 2 types of packing
one for going back
and the other for storage at sam's
so yea
i started with the things i definitely wont be needing for the rest of the time here
like my stationary store
still wondering what to do with my NYP notes tt i brought over though...
leave here or bring back
i think ill have to bring it back...

but other than tt
things have been gg slow and relaxed
2mr meeting to discuss melb exploration itenary plan
WHEEEEE!!
im kinda excited and oddly worried as well
dont ask me why. i wont have the answer as well. AHAHAH!

but anyhooooo
reminds me i gotta draft out my email soon
hiaz
looks like i still have agendas even on holidays
but at least i enjoy these agendas more than the important ones which are usually school-related. ahahaha!
but what to do? humans are goal-oriented beings.
well....at the core of it at least...

and random but you know wad?
i suddenly felt like learning the rap to Marry U
and i did! i still need the lyrics in front of me though
and ive only learnt the one in front..but its a start
see when im bored...i learn things like tt...AHAHAH!
lets hope it'll actually be put to good use one day
maybe one fine day when acareak actually gets a wedding gig
and the couple requests for a korean song...or is open to one..

oddly i think of things like tt when it comes to weddings
i think of how the reception is, how the performance is like as the couple walks down the aisle and blablabla
i think of OTHER PEOPLE'S weddings...and how I wanna be a part of it..
like at the reception counter then running off to get ready for a special performance for them or sth
i realised i've never actually thought of my own wedding..i think my brain also accepted its fate.
and i think i know why too..gosh how i psychoanalyse myself is awesome sometimes...
and before this gets to the self-pitying stage, i think i'll stop here.

but its interesting huh?

and i realised how apt this whole topic
coz i just found out on facebook (the wonders of fb)
that my cousin is engaged
i saw the pics of the proposal
well dont think they've actually sealed it in at ROM
but yea
shes a yr older
and i lost contact with her for about ...3-4 yrs now? i think
some family internal feud
so the only means of contact is fb now
well...we dont actually talk or wadeva
but yea...

this is the beginning of the next stage of my life
where everyone ard you slowly starts to get married
ok
engaged for starters.
and give it a yr or 2 more and soon ill start getting those qns which i wish i never have to answer
or will i have to start hiring ppl to pose as my boyfriend like in the movies? AHAH!
when i was younger i wish they wouldnt ask abt school and my grades and i wld hope and pray fervently that my cousin (this same one and her brother whos is 2 yrs younger..?) wouldnt have out-performed me

then the comparison stopped after O levels (i was thankful)
and give it time...though they dont come to family gatherings anymore
the comparison will come again (even if not with her...it will be with the rest of the ppl of my developmental age..i'm delayed in this area alright?! im sorry if im retarded in this area)

ok..wow...and now im pissed again
i guess i shouldnt have assumed? actually...i shld have known better.. wadeva
ill stop before it gets out of hand. back to top?