If you're here you probably know/knew me
Whatever the case, help yourself to my blahblahs, however interesting they may be.


bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

gosh

have you ever had to deal with sth tt was so inconsistent it just became tiring?
like one moment its OBVIOUSLY ALRIGHT
and the next moment it seems like sth is OBVIOUSLY NOT right
and what is the most irritating thing is wondering if you are the cause of it

THAT is wad gets on my nerves
i dunno where to direct the frustration too
me? did i do sth? wad did i do?
externally? then is it any of my business? but it should be..
GAH
people dynamics is complex shit
on one hand you may ask "then why make it why of your business?"
but you kinda cant help it...you know?

was watching "The Big Bang Theory" on tv during dinner
it was like every dinner
but to quote " In this ever-changing world, i need one thing to be my 0000, my consistent spot"
or sth like tt..not too sure abt the whole techincal thing. constant? consistent? you get it.

he was of course referring to his obssessive idiosyncratic attachment to his spot on the sofa which someone else had taken a seat in and was trying to explain why THAT spot must be left for him and him alone.
it needs to be CONSISTENT.
0000

i empathise
this is why we need routine
why we have habits
and not tt i need to THIS to be consistent coz i need a routine or i need it to be habitual
but rather i need it to be less tiring
it needs to be NATURAL
comfortable
right now. its dependent on many things
and i dont like that.
the solution may be as simple as just not giving a damn so tt you;re free from all tt but its kinda heartless to do so at the same time.

ok now tt ive ranted
im good
better
i need rest
but i need to do work too
so here i go
off to work
mum is supposed to come online and vid conf but she might have forgotten again
OH WELL

till my next rant. back to top?

ok so i know its been some time since i last blogged
been kinda busy
i would love to say tt its ALL schoolwork but it isnt
HAHAH!

so well..
slowly getting the hang of things
school work is piling up slowly but surely
so kinda back to the balancing act tt i have been away from for some time
but i guess its less of that here considering you dont REALLY go out at night and ONLY on the weekends
but its still gross

BUT ANYWAY
ok..ill share sth interesting
for the longest time (3 yrs to be exact)
i had NO recollection whatsover that i joined this friendster-facebook-social network-thingy called Tagged
i rmb i joined it after being invited by a friend but i never follwed up on it
and ive been getting emails from it but i've been deleting it till last night
i was like SWHAT the hell IS this man?!
so i open it and im like ??!??
the picture i loaded was a old (and not to mention) horrid picture of myself and with melia and may in the pic ..i think we were on the way to some concert and we took the pic in the bus..
and the thing operates such tt ppl can view your profile and you know who has
and DIG THIS
ppl can click to let you know tt they are INTERESTED in getting to know you
and yes...they are all guys..its not a friend request btw...
its slimy.
BUT ANYWAY
i thought to myself " i dont think anyone even knows abt this website...all these emails could just be a ploy of some sort"
so i decide to challenge the system and i put a more recent and one of what i would like to term as "IJT_" pics and see if i still get as many or MORE
coz i mean if its AS many then its likely tt its the system

so when i check today
HO MA GAD
5 new views
and after i looked at them and went back to hotmail to delete the email
another 4!
and after those 4
another 4!
and about 5 friend requests
and 5 msgs
WTH
some of these are from the same ppl so esentially its at least 13?
and mind you ...i dont even have like HOT pics or anything to that degree..
i just look....more feminine i suppose in the new pic?

and my conclusion from my experiment?
guys are indeed visual and superficial beings
then again..who isnt.
BUT REALLY.
to indicate your interest is one
to send a msg is another
one guy wrote : "Hey Sweetie"
another wrote " hey..can i get to know you?"
another " hey..care to chat on msn?"
and another " hi my name is J_______ and i would like to get to know you. you can call me at ______ and my email is _______." or sth like that.

i had half my mind to carry my experiment to another level and add one of them on msn to talk to and to see what exactly was his intention. daniel said they're probably looking for sex. and i couldnt agree more. so i didnt, for fear i might be throwing myself into a hot bowl of slime soup.

ok. im being mean. and possibly not being open to this idea of "internet dating". but SERIOUSLY. calling someone you know based SOLELY on a pic 'sweetie' isnt the best thing to address me even if you meant it as a compliment. it just gives this UGH vibe. slime.

i guess these ppl are looking for love (or sex). and most of the time...in the wrong places.
well tts if they are looking for love
sex...maybe the right place. AHHAAH!

call me traditional and idealistic in my single-since-forever-brain but i still feel its best to get to know someone face to face.
im not even a big social person but yea.
The unspoken always speaks louder than the spoken. and more often than not, its what REALLY matters.
i might not be practicing wad im preach but...i'd still like to live in my own little fairytale world that if its meant to be, it will happen somehow.
and not to mention...im actually pretty much enjoying being single. ( then again, not like i would know otherwise)
but i guess i havent developed the emotional security/maturity? i ought to have to be engaged in a BGR.
Yes. BGR. Not fling.
goodness..the term bgr is so loosely termed nowadays.

OH WELL
OK enough stalling
ive been wasting time away watching will and grace which i borrowed from the school lib
its not bad. kinda cute. makes me miss ma homies back in da hood. tt kind of dynamics and interaction.but of coz i watch it to reward myself or to start the day. AHAHAH!

OK! off to bathe and till i blog again! back to top?

my hands and feet are sweaty-er here
i hate it
i cant even write properly without having to wipe my hand
and we ALL know tt i need to have a good GRIP on my pen when i write
my handwriting is getting bad
my hand muscles are getting weak and lazy
i need to start gripping sth
BADMINTON!!!!
AHAHAH
ok tt was a lame excuse to play
but i NEED to
i feel so.....passive.
already i only get to walk ard when i go grocery shopping and on weekends when we go shopping
AHAHAH

YAY!
its saturday 2mr
and its already been 2 weeks of school
its damn fast lah
really damn fast
and i am really very thankful and blessed really tt i came to la trobe with ppl tt i knew
its really helping me settle down
like i dont feel so anxious and you know? i can concentrate on my studies
yes sure...social life is important
but ultimately im here to study
and lemme tell you
i have never been as diligent as this EVER within the 1st 2 weeks of school
its madness
kinda like no choice coz deadlines are due soon
but also i guess lifestyle changes, you dont go out late at night
there not much to do unless you go for free dinners or gorcery shopping
so yea
you stay in your room
and you pretty much are left with your books and the laptop
and when you think youre not gonna waste your internet as you let it roll on with no one talking to you, you pluck the cable out and read/ blog

but
im slowly starting to miss home a lil
a little bit only coz i guess the NYP company makes it feel tt bit more like home
sunday's national day!!!! i cant wait for the food
i think EVERYONE is looking forward to the food and the goodie bags more than anything else.
AHAHAHA
i dont have a particular dish tt i am craving for
im just in general missing all things sambal and chilli-filled and oily somehow
AAHAHAHA
i cant even describe hawker food. i guess i just miss hawker food.
its like...even if you could make mee pok on your own..it still LACKS THAT TASTE.
ya know?

but anyway
i think i know why my bowel movement has been a little wonky of late
a lot of veges in my diet
mainly coz its the easiest to cook
and fruits as snacks
of coz there are crackers and chips and chocolate and SKITTLES!
but i dont touch them much unless i have a particular sweety, meaty kinda craving ;)
OH! but i just bought some salmon cream cheese dip for my cracker
yummy
fattening i know but...not every day lah
AHAHAH

ok...i guess check facebook when you guys can
coz i guess pics are more...illustrative

i miss everyone back home
have a great national day everyone!
i'll prob blog again post ndp...ahaha back to top?