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bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

here's a tip for all you nasty ppl out there..

esp those who think they are ALL sooo high above all others.and love to boss ppl ard whenever they can..well..if you simply HAVE to...may i suggest sth? dun do it while you're patronizing a restaurant..or any service industry for tt matter..

ahaha..today was at work..was ok lah..tho bernie was in charge today..but he din gimme too hard a time...so anyway...today was ok then there were these 2 ladies who came in ard 4 sth and well..they seemed nice enuff lah.. so since there weren't many customers we were just hanging out waiting to serve..ahahah...so my fren got called to take their order..

so apparently there was some commotion gg on at tt table..2wice! ahah...apparently the lady ordered 2 lattes and well we have to clarify if its hot or iced latte..so my fren asked to clarify and she got shouted at...as in SHOUTED at..yea..apparently the lady was super attitude lah..then aft my fren took the order, another waiter went to ask if they wanted warm or ice water then kena attitude again..apparently it was quite bad lah..but i cldn't hear any of the scolding coz the music was playing particularly loudly today..so anyway..yes..all aft settling all the order chit were standing ard the cold counter bitching abt the 2 ladies and since all they ordered were 2 lattes and a mud pie..they wanted to "spike" their food..MWAHAHA!!! the cold counter ppl were helping take revenge..must have been feeling bored...

so this is 1/2 of wad they did..ahaha..to know the other 1/2 ..msg me online or call me or sth...ahaha...coz i may get into trouble..ahha

so yes..this is wad happened:

1)the lattes--> they ordered low-fat
here's wad they did : they made it MORE fat. they have to make the foam and heat up the milk..so they put 1/2 cream and milk= more fat..hahaah..
verdict: they drank it all up..must have tasted EXTRA nice for one..for something LOW FAT..=)

well..gonna apply the NYP thingy 2mr..as in confirm the enrolment..so much unecessary info they need lah..sheesh man..ahaha... back to top?

ugh..

ok..i noe i'm gonna sound mean..and arrogant and think-i'm-so smart..but seriously..this is how i've been feeling recently nowadays whenever i go to work..

i resent the fact tt there are ppl who are of a lower qualification than me telling me what is right!!!

seriously..just because they have been working there longer than i have or just because they wear a diff coloured shirt they think they are a lot smarter...and they make you feel sooo dumb for not knowing sth supposedly soo common-sense in THEIR world..

i mean...i know i'm being unreasonable and my non-UN self( as fio and val put it) but seriously..they make it seem like you have committed the world's un-likeliest mistake and in order to have done tt--you MUST be really dumb..i MAY be dumb in tt context but DUDE! thats because i REALLY DON'T KNOW..no noe told me..my 1st day of training wasn't even a proper intro to the way things work ard there...

i can put up with one or 2 times but as many as 5?! gosh...the past few times i've been gg to work i've been put as host--> the person who stands at the door and waits for ppl to come and the same person who approaches you and can't leave you to read the menu in peace and to BUG you to come in and try their food..there IS a reason why i chose this over retail jobs ya noe..i'm NOT the type to go up to ppl and promote sth tt i dun even noe is THAT good..

so anyway..yes i hate tt role coz 1stly its SOOO freaking boring esp in the day and you have to promote cakes--> when you have minimal knowledge on them and you have to be a FAKE-O to get the job done right and i mean tt in the sense tt you have to be NICE AND CHEERY even when you dun feel like it and to be nice for NO apparent reason other than tt ppl have decided to come in! UGH! how shallow can it get..doing it once in a while i can take it but EVERY single time i go to work??!!! its ridiculous!! and the ONLY reason why i keep getting tt role? APPARENTLY its coz i haven't been doing it RIGHT--> i'm not "opening myself out to the customer enough.." WAD THE ...but NO one tells me HOW it is to be done!! THEY make me feel dumb for not being able to do the job well..

i mean...yes...i KNOW they have the right to tell me where i've gone wrong and the "right" to lecture me..but really...sometimes i feel like telling them tt its ONLY in the context of THIS RESTAURANT..i mean..seriously..and now tt i told them i wanna quit soon coz i have to settle all my NYP applications they think i'm an O'lvl student who did REALLY badly and is gg to poly(like all of them) and those who rmb tt i am an A'lvl student think tt i did SUPER badly in A's and have to go poly to do and O'lvl course and think tt i am really stupid--> i find it an insult to all the hardwork i have been putting in all these yrs the way they treat me because of tt.. and the best part..they are sooo much nicer to the rest of the ppl there--or maybe i'm just paranoid..

i know this entry makes me sound like a horrid person..proud and terrible but seriously..i can't take it..its leo instincts coming on..seriously..haha..so anyway i told the manager tt i wanted to quit this week but then he said tt it was too abrupt so he asked me if i cld stay on one more week..i was expecting it so i said ok lah...but then i am NOT doing any night shift tho..if they dare to scream at me..ha! i'll tell them i'm actually dong THEM a favour lah..ahaha...so thick skinned hor? =P

so anyway..i've been praying abt this poly or uni thing..and i'm starting to think maybe why i'm having such a hard time at work is coz maybe God is trying to test how patient or tolerant i am..coz well...these are qualities required in the service industry..so maybe he's trying to tell me sth? is this i sign tt i shld not go with OT? coz those are the same qualities one needs to be a OT..i'm quite tolerant and patient but just HOW much i dunno..so maybe this is a test? hmm..like how i go abt evry test i do..100%..we'll see just how much i can take =) 2mr is gonna be a fun day..and so will wed..seeing my frens is always nice =) back to top?

haha..

well..i finally applied all tt i need to for NUS and NTU..so yea...we'll see wad happens..and then we'll take the next step...

but then..tt may not be soo far away..NYP has come back into the pic ...if i withdraw aft the 1st week of semester ah--> which will be likely shld i decide to go with uni...i'll loose $1120..its a hefty sum to gamble with...i have to go online and confirm if i still want my place there or not..i really dunno...plus i still have to go for medical checkups and all..like SHEESH MAN...so if we're ill we are not entitled to furthur education? sheesh man...haha..and i have to fill in the MONSTROUS number of forms and send it all back by.....4th april...sheesh man...i hate this...i really dunno wad i shld do.. "To go or Not to go" ..that is the question.

anyway..went out today to celebrate Norman's birthday which is actually 2mr lah..so well..went to cafe cartel for lunch and cake cutting..man..i tell you ah..our taste is becoming more expensive..i saved more as a student on meals man..hiaz..so anyway..i had this SUPER OILY Southern Crispy Chicken..man..it was REALLY crispy..its was like a whole piece of breast meat from KFC but BIGGER and BROWNER but a lot more tender and it was OOZING with oil..ahaha..i would like to think tt it was good,nutritious essence of chicken but really..with oil already ON the serving plate ..it was HARD...ahahah...

well..its always nice to meet up with friends once in a while..we shld do it whenever we can..coz a few years down the road..its gonna be nearly impossible..just think about it..wherever we go from now, we get a job,we'll be as busy as heck and probably have too much on our own lives to deal with we wun have time for any of these little gatherings...so yea..its a scary thought on how much more hectic or lives are about to become within a matter of years..the next time EVERYONE you know will congregate will be your wedding day (if it comes) and if not your funeral ( provided no one you know goes b4 you do)..

so anyway...i'm quitting NYDC soon..gotta settle all the NYP stuff asap lah..and a good and proper rest b4 school starts--at NYP tt is..i'm gonna try and see if i can get out by this week..make it my last week...sheesh man...my brain can be used for much better things i'm sure...i'd choose tuitioning that pri 2 boy over NYDC anytime man...esp aft all the rubbish new rules tt they have implemented like:
-later by 15 mins or more no tips for the day--> no diff to me
- caught not setting table or smiling more than once--> dock 1 HOUR'S WORTH OF PAY
and considering tt my managers have been a REAL pain in the butt recently...i KNOW its a sign to quit NYDC SOON..

UGH..i'm not lookng forward to work 2mr or thurs..they are SURE to give me hell..ESP bernie if he is there...UGH..since he lectured me over the phone today..i wanted to punch his extremely round head i tell you..ugh... back to top?

so well...

i've more or less decided wad i wanna put as my choices in uni liao... NUS is more like a try and see how so i put the sci sourses as the first choice ..NTU is the more realistic destination...so the verdict is :
NUS
-Life Sciences ( which concentration? prob biomed? no idea)
-Chemistry
-Psychology

NTU
-Psychology
-Chemistry and Biological Chem
-Biological Sci

ahaha...the NUS confirm tt order...the NTU was the headache..coz tts the likelihood of where i will end up..so i was deciding btwn psychology and chem and bio chem..psycho i'm very interested but no solid idea wad i wanna do with it but i know the opportnuities are there..lots of things i can do with it i guess..chem if i go with it i'll prob go into forensic sci..ahaha..so we'll see..mum told me to go novena on saturday then apply..ahaha...pray for divine help then apply....its a psychological thing but i'll go with it...=)

so anyway..got my letter from NYP already..offered a place in OT already..and got the enrolment guide today..goodnes...its FREAKING THICK!!! all the forms to fill are enuff to make me change my mind lah..and have to go for a medical checkup for it somemore can? esp for health sci student aka your's truly..need to see if i'm physically able..and best part? i have to do it all by 4th...and i have to confirm tt i want my place in NYP online..if i withdraw within the 1st week of semester..i get some money back...but aft tt no refund...so i dunno...need to read carefully and discuss with mum...so THATS WHY..my uni choice is VERY impt..ahaha..hiaz..need to research more carefully on the job prospects on OT...and i need to decide PROPERLY...hiaz...all the trouble man...

school at NYP starts on 17th and orientation for it is on the 13th...I'M SOOOOO HAPPY SARAH GOT ACCPETED!!! WHEE!!! so i've got a friend!!! YAY!! ahaha...hopefully may gets in too...then the more the merrier... hiaz...oh well..gotta go read the guide properly tonight...and watching some TV now..so i'm gg with tt...ahaha..til i next blog..ahaha back to top?

ahahaha

hiaz...actually this is my 2nd post...so stupid..i went to close the whole maxthon window just now and well...yea..lost everything..so here i am re-typing..

so anyway..yea..went out with fio,yi mei and melia..YAY!! it soo fun to go out with the gang --wadeva is left of it at least..so yea..fio,melia and i met up earlier to swim..well more like a dip in the pool ..it started to rain aft abt 15 mins worth of swimming..ahaha...so yea..aft tt yi mei came over and then we all met up to go have lunch,waffles and SHOP! ahaha..this waffles and tuesday thing is becoming a ritual...seriously..but its cool =) ahaha...

so yea..did MASSIVE accessory shopping...it was really fun ..ahaah...all the 2 for $10 and 3 for $5 offers had us all trying to find partners to buy stuff with or to get another one of the same thing so tt we cld make use of the offer..ahaha...i think 4 of us were making a great deal of noise...but it was darn fun lah...i like gg out shopping with girls..ahaha...coz everyone will get involoved in the shopping and give each other tips and opinions..its really fun..with guys..guys get bored..ahaha..so you have to be considerate to their interets..ahaha..so yea..

aft today i made dicoveries and some reinforcements :

1) i am fat and short =(
2) i need a whole wardrobe make-over. i need a new skirt,new polos,new tees,new plain tees,new bags,new shoes,new necklaces..ok..maybe need is a wrong word to use..i want..ahaha...
3) fiony-pony is no longer much of a blob..she has left the clan...i'm all alone in this skinny world hiaz...

so anyway...i'm spending my 2mr researching on my life --as in choices to MAKE in my life. i wanna get this done asap lah...dun wan another NYP episode to happen again lah..ahaha...too traumatising..heh..so yea..wanna get this informed choice making thing properly done and off my mind..aft tt..its left to God to decide for me...seriously...hiaz..ok lah..i'm gonna sleep now...till i next blog =) back to top?

well...

apologies if my prev entry made anyone upset or anything...just needed to release my emotions and clear my thoughts...

so anyway..yea...today was as per normal...except tt i got a visit from melia,jia cheng,seymone ,trevor and seymone's sister..ahaha...dunno wad her name is sorry..ahaha...so anyway...yea..

i'm thinking of quitting soon..esp when i hear tt my new manager who has been imported form heeren branch is a awful pain in the butt and a AWFUL BIG one at tt..i mean tt literally...yea...if she gives me any nonsense tt i can't take...i'm leaving..seriously lah..ahaha..

hiaz...ok...gtg sleep now... back to top?

sometimes...i wonder...why do we need friends?

are ppl who are loners more happy?

i guess maybe not...but they will never have to face tt horrid feeling of being let down by a friend..by someone tt you trust and love..its times like those tt i start to question :do my friends really know me??

i really dunno...sometimes i guess i trust and love too much and i think i KNOW..something of a small,insignificant or even petty nature occurs..i get hurt..and i start to evalutate my relationship with tt person all over again..maybe thats why they say NEVER take things for granted...and which is also why i never want to commit anyone or myself to the title of "best friend"..for this very reason....as a best friend...you expect tt person to know you well..and sometimes even better than you know yourself...and for tt person to be sensitive to your feelings,your preferences and dislikes,your character..but then i guess there's only one person who fits tt bill : God. NO one on earth could possibly ever fit tt description..its just too perfect...as humans...we all have our faults..

why i dun believe in best friends?? because i kinda expect my best friend to KNOW what i'm like and with tt knowledge..NEVER to do anything tt could HURT me...but then...yea..that kind of person will never exist..its impossible..because never is a VERY absolute term...and as humans we err..hence...impossible...so wad do we do then? have to learn how to accept ppl for who they are and always forgive them for anything tt they may do unto you,giving them the benefit of the doubt tt they didn't mean wadeva they did in tt way tt hurt you...its also kinda my fault sometimes i get too hurt..coz...well..i'm a person who reads quite deeply into the usage of certain words..so yea...sometimes i'm the only one giving myself a hard time..ahaha.. thats why i usually never blame any of my friends for "hurting" me..coz i usually feel its self-inflicted pain..haha...unless its very clearly their fault lah...

So to my friend who i might have hurt just now ( you know who you are)--> I'm Sorry.

hiaz...i just needed an outlet...got a bit disappointed just nw...over wad? the usage of words again..yea..hiaz...sometimes i wish i could take things easy...as in...not read too much into it...but really...i can't really help it...its kinda like 2nd nature to me already...why do you think i'm always soo particular on the type of words used when i talk to ppl over serious things?? or things tt involve human emotion?? hiaz...

oh..and here's a reason why i dun think i an ever gonna get attatched...for the same reason as why i dun commit anyone or myself to the title of "best friend"...hiaz...tt has got to change...gimme time lah huh? ahaha...

anyway...ppl...pls pray for dan..he's not gg on too well in army..pray for him...help him along..his body doesn't seem to be cooperating with him while he's in there...and yea..continue to pray for each other in our descisions on wad to do with our life..ask the Lord to help us trust in Him..leave it in His hands.. back to top?

i only have 4 things to say abt today..

1) i finally had a decent lunch..and a good one at tt...with 2 GOOD PALLY-WALLEYS!!! melia and fiony-pony...YAY! ahaha...and a good waffle-y time..

2) i need more BAGS...

3) i now have not only an uneven tan throughout my whoe body...i have a COMPLICATED tan on my back..coz the past 2 times i wore another swim suit which tans nicely for sleeveless tops but not for racerbacks and i wore the OTHER suit today in hope of even-ing it all out...tt one has a "cross-back" effect...but now instead..i have 2 DIFFERENT type of tan lines...ahaha....oh well...gotta chao da myself one more time to achieve the desired effect..guess coz today we went at ard 4? so the sun wasn't THAT hot..ahaha..

4) I LOVE JOSH GROBAN'S VOICE!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! its sooooo FREAKING SMOOTH..man...do guys with this kinda voice exist in singapore? ahaha....man...his voice...makes me wanna go :ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh--> in case you're thinking sick...its a lovey-dovey satisfied kinda ahh..not a sicko one..ahahaha...

ok..got night shift 2mr...gonna sleep soon...maybe go down 2mr to even out my tan..ahaha....and yes...still deciding wad to do with my life shld i go uni..pls pray for me if you're not already doing so =( ahaha..and for everyone else who is still deciding..we shall all pray for each other...i'm sure God has a plan ready for us..ask Him to guide us..and for dan too..last i heard things dun look too good with his knee while he's in there..=S back to top?

went for open hse today..ahaha..

but 1st hung out at clementi central for lunch and a spur of shopping while waiting for audrey and wenshan..ahaha...so yea...saw many CJ ppl..it got a bit freaky aft a while lah...thank goodness din see them at NTU itself...all either at clementi or on the bus there...oh...but seeing princess and zhezhang was good i guess...as in..ppl i dun mind seeing..not those CJ ppl tt you know the face but not personally..yah..those kinda situations suck..its kinda awkward..haha...

so was have i decided aft today's open hse at NTU? tt i prob apply psychology as one of my choices and if its btwn NTU and NUS it'll bt NTU..its freaking Hons prog lah...compared to NUS where chances of you getting Hons not eben confirmed till 3rd yr..so yea..other than tt..i clarified with the ppl at biological sciences counter..YES..I was RIGHT..its VERY research based lah...dun think i'm into tt kinda thing..i FINALLY understand why soo many sci students switch 2 arts or sth toally diff in uni...COZ ALL THE SCI COURSES IN UNI ARE BORING!!!! to me at least..if you're a sci enthusiast..then we are totally communicating on a diff planet..please leave my blog..ahahaha!!!!

and then i was given the engineering brochure @ NTU..bioengineering and chemical engineering..read it..sounds quite interesting..quite cool...but i need to go research on the job prospects on tt course 1st ...so i was reading abt it on the NUS website...i was like:

OH! COOL!! finally found sth i'm interested in and is sceince-y

then i look at the requirements for bioengineering..REQUIRES A'LEVEL PHYSICS!! ARGH! DRAN THE DING DONGS!!! but if i'm not wrong..the NTU one only needs o'level physics...so yea..if tts the case then can..haha..need to consider 1st lah...go NUS 2mr and see how...wad the talk is abt and more importantly..JOB PROSPECTS...tts the most impt...coz now we ain't studying for interest..its for LIFE...

so anyway...did i mention tt i have a cold sore?? hiaz..yes i do..its kinda irritating..on my upper lip..UGH...hate it...itchy =S haha..YAY!! tues gg out with fiony-pony,melia and mei( haven't asked her yet tho) I WANNA EAT GELARE!!! man..everytime we wanna eat in the end nvr eat...this is gonna be the 3rd and final attempt k? no more pushing back..ahahha..hiaz...i kinda miss val now...=(

haha..OH YES!! i bought a nice new tee today!!! YAY!!! only $8.90 lah! from clementi..it looks like a ah-mah clothes shop...but it sells some nice stuff there if you can find...found this yellow polo with some purple print..its nice =) looks lie those roxy or OP kinda polos..yay=) and we saw some really nice guys tees..10 or 12 bucks only...but the material not so good lah..but the print is darn cool...man...it was then tt i was whining to be a guy..hiaz...oh well..then melia was suggesting buying it for dan..ahaha..all the guy stuff we saw..we ended up thinking of buying for dan...hiaz..guess coz whenever we're looking at guy's clothes it'll be with dan and for dan. ..ahaha...hiaz...oh well..wait till he's out then we'll see how..ahaha...

oh well..nth much to write now..so i'll end off here... back to top?

haha..

today was...well..ok lah..

except tt my manager is really picky lah...as in ..the newest one...super picky and lor sor lah...hiaz...oh well..so of coz i kena picked on for every little thing i did today ..i started getting irritated with him...but i din blow lah duh..ahaha...oh well..prob gonna quit at the end of the month or earlier lah...dunno man..need to have proper days to SLACK...yes..

and well..prob gg nus and ntu open hse 2mr..need to decide properly wad degree courses i may wanna do..coz if OT or PT fails to interest me i'm moving out of there and into uni if any course accepts me..ahaha..so anyway...sarah from Cj choir called me today..ahaha..she applied OT and PT at nyp too..ahaha...maybe i'll see her...tts good...a familiar face...yay..ahaha..and well..yea she told me she has been gg thru the same kind of things as me whenever me mention NYP...hahaa..so yea..its nice to know tt i'm not alone..=) but wad made me worried from tt convo coz..sarah said tt job prospects in OT is not promising lah..so i dunno...getting worried over my choice again..=S

so anyway..haha..i MISS SINGING!!!! seriously..haven't been singing for soo long lah...be it choral singing or just singing pop songs..i'm loosing it..i'm loosing the ability to sing...ARGH!!! i need choir!!! I NEED SINGING!!! i need to sing in parts!!! hiaz...so sad no more choir... back to top?

oh well..

i only got one thing to say abt today...

MY LEGS HURT!!!!!

i did the most walking anyone could ever do in one day..

9.30am : left my house in search of a photocopying place to photocopy my certs...

9.35am: walk towards the photo shop..but as i walk on...i see that the shop has...disappeared..as in no longer there...so i make my way towards valley point..

945am: i get to valley point and realize tt the shop is still closed and see tt its only gonna open at 10am...so wad do i do? i can't go sit at starbucks without buying anything(only to realise tt you CAN) so wad do i do? i go to cold storage and walk ard..looking for cup noodles for my lunch..i'm gonna die from msg overdoze man..so anyway...yea..

10 am: go photocopy my stuff..

1015am: start walking home..

1030: i get home...and i realised i just made a big fat round ard my place...that is quite a lot of walking mind you..

11: i make my mlunch..cup noodles.. i barely eat anything..

11.15 : take a REALLY slow walk towards tbp...

1145: get to city hall mrt and more walking..thru city link mall and all..and mind you ...today was IT fair at suntec...so there was a considerable crowd...

12: get to work on time and yes...continue another 4.5hrs of standing and walking...my poor feet just dun get any rest i tell you...

4.30pm: i get off work and go change and get "lunch" --> was getting gastrics at 3pm bad case of burping gg on then...

4.45pm: rush off to mrt to meet FIONY-PONY!!! YAY!!! she was nice enuff to come with me to NYP to hand in my form...YAY!!! then well..more walking and standing...

5.15: get to yio chu kang mrt and walk somemore to NYP..fio and i were crapping coz yio chu kang mrt stn itself had a clinic..guess wads the name of the clinic?

YIO CHU KANG MRT CLINIC

HAHAHA!!! i am NOT joking!! then we were saying wad if someone calls and asks:

patient:" hello ah..er..is this yio chu kang mrt clinic?"
nurse: "yes..how may i help you?"
patient: " where are you at ah?"
nurse: " yio chu kang"
patient: " how do i get there ah?"
nurse: "take mrt lor.."
patient: " ok..then where do i stop?"
nurse: ......

ahahaha!! yes...we were crapping...so anyway..i get to nyp and give the form and well..leave...it was quite a fast job..haha...so anyway..fio and i head to orchard to WALK HOME!!! ARGH!! but i obliged since she accompanied me to nyp..so on the train there..i get a call from lee pin ..i pick up and this is wad she says :

"VANESSA!! YOU SIAO AH?! "

i'm like huh??!!!! apparently she works there as admin...and her colleague passed her my application to process..ahahaha...and then she was asking me why i wanna go poly and all..hiaz..i started feeling terrible again...reminding myself abt the whole " am i making a wrong choice?" thing...you guys have NO idea how terrible it is to go thru tt ya noe? to be told by everyone tt i am stepping willingly into wad is seemed to be as a "waste of time" but i know its NOT..3 yr dip 1yr degree in aus and HEY! i still have a degree aft 4 yrs..same as anyone who goes to uni...so where does all this mis-belief come from? THE FACT TT I AM CONSIDERING A POLY..

yes..it is true..ppl wld argue " why the hell do i wanna go there with my grades?" my grades ain't fantastic...seriously...i'm just saying wad I feel..no intention to make anyone feel bad..this is my blog..so yea..lemme be ME..

its just the whole stereotype tt comes along with poly...its not as bad as those students at O'lvl who get JC kinda grades and go poly..its diff...coz ppl are slowly acknowledging the fact tt students with JC kinda grades are gg poly coz they desire a diff kind of education and all..i agree...

but then i made tt choice to go JC and the idea with JC (esp very much heavily empahised with all these genius kids gg poly instead of JC) is tt you are working to get into Uni coz you are supposedly able to, given qualification to JC and JC is the faster route to Uni..so there you go..poly is seen as a waste of time or a dumping grd for ppl who din quite make it at A's..that possibility of tt you might have considered to go poly coz you want a diff kind of study OR tt the BLOODY DEGREE ain't available in the local unis or tt all the degrees offered by the uni are yawn-worthy ( as in science courses)--> all thse possibilities are not considered or tt they do not even come to mind ...so yea..tts why i feel all terrible whenever someone exclaims : HUH?! WHY???????

doesn't help tt none of my frens really support me...as in all of them have tt "you REALLY gonna do it ah?" kind of tone...hiaz...no one tells me :" yah ness..i think it suits you.." or anything like tt..all of them have tt disbelief tone...i dun blame them..i just feel sad tts all..tt i'm fighting this all by myself with ppl tt i depend on and treasure..the only person who gave me reassurance was fiony-pony and she said it suits me ( i really hope so).. thanks man =)

i mean...i believe ppl know me better than i know myself..so i believe them more..coz wad i do and how i act ard them defines wad they think of me and how i grow and respond as a person and stretch qualities of my character..dun ask me how tt makes sense..its just how i operate ahaha..so yea...and of coz my family..well..not really actually...my mum is supporting me in the practical kind of sense like-->i will support you no matter wad...i just want you to be happy doing wad you want ...but i acknowledge the fact tt everyone is entitled to their own opinion..so i never did try to coerce ppl to act however i wish they would ard me..its just too unnatural..yea..just be yourself...i always respect other ppl's opinions unless they clash TOTALLY with mine or when the matter is utter nonsense-sense ahaha...there must be an understanding on both parites ...and i'm gg off -point...i think maybe i shld go do psychology dun you think? ahaha..its like IN MY BLOOD..ahahaa...

so yes..i went grossly off-point but yea..it was relevant to wad i was saying and how i've been feeling..so anyway..yes..we got to town and well..walked home from there...so now..i am at home with VERYVERYVERY sore calves and SHINS..yes! MY SHIN!! haha..THAT bad...so anyway..there's work 2mr..and sat gg dental and NTU and NUS open hse..seeing wad i maybe able to apply for there...i AM still considering uni..so please dun call me mad..ahahaa...ok..need rest now...damn tired man...work 2mr...MORE WALKING! and YES!!! i am NO LONGER trainee!!! WHEE!! i am now back to being VANESSA!! ahaha..and my server number?? same as melia's!!! 13! ahaha..cool or wad? ok ..sleep... back to top?

hiaz..

oh well..today was my last tuition day..gonna miss the boy i guess..tt little rascal...haha...i was being nice to him today since it was my last day...haha...so anyway..yea...had to rush over like MAD...coz left the farewell seoul garden thingy kinda late..walked damn fast considering the footwear i was in..haha..my moses sandals...not much support there...but anyhow..welll..today's lesson turned out to be more of a science lesson..pri 2 no science mah...so i kinda used tt fact to get him to do work..i said tt for every qn he finished i wld tell him one science fact..

so i explained why we have day and night and wad water was made of..aaha..so anyway..yea..had a fun time today...started the day with BROKEBACK...hahaha..the thing i can't stand abt tt show..THEY MUMBLE TOO MUCH..and tt darn cowboy accent is to darn strong..haha...its like..even the "subtitles" tt come along with it is like inaccurate and at some parts non-existent coz i dun think its dechipherable..ahaha...had fun ..thanks yien!! and dan ..ahaha...OH! i 4got to pay you back for breakfast..oops...=S

anyway..aft tt went for lunch and did last min stuff and SHOPPING! ahaha...but not for me (since when was it EVER for me??) nor melia..but for dan...so yea...man..i can only say one thing whenever we go shopping for guy's stuff with dan..I WANNA BE A GUY!!!! their shirts and tees are SOOOO much nicer...all the girls tops nowadays are just bad..its sooo hard to find a nice top...and hardly any nice vintage kinda print..if they do..its all act cute...like :" SUGAR SWEET or CANDY HEARTS" or sth liddat..UGH...thats why till now...i dun have a single vintage tee..still searching aft all these years..hiaz...and guys caps are nicer too...UGH!!! I WANNA BE A GUY! and guy's watches are nicer too...dammit...i'm turning too much into a guy..darn..if i were a guy...i wld SOOO know how to dress myself...haha..seriously..hahah...

so anyway...went beads wadeva place at heeren for melia to buy beads for her earring-making...so aft tt had to rush to seoul garden to get the place for the dinner...b4 tt i rushed to the library hoping to photocopy my certs and all for NYP to send out 2mr but nooooooooooooooooo orchard library just HAPPENS to NOT have a photocopying machine...so darn it!! ARGH! have to rush ard to 2mr to get it done and send out 2mr..needs to reach NYP by fri...i really hope it does reach NYP by fri..i hope and i pray..if no NYP..i really dunno wad to do liao...uni lah..but no idea..hiaz..praypraypray...so anyway..well...we all had a good dinner...it was fun and nice just being in the company of old frens..well..all i can say now to both dan and jon : best of luck gg in..have fun in there and take good care of yourselves...lesser chances to meet up now but oh well..we'll wait till you come out..ahaha..cya dudes and take care..

and as for me...work 2mr..ugh..not as bad as melia's lah..aahaha..but oh well..i'm experiencing a mixture of emotions now..its like..

happy: I GOT PAID!!! 75 bucks!! COLD HARD CASH!!! dun usually see your work money in material form..tt you csn TOUCH and SEE and admire it...ahaha...

sad: last day to see the boy and frens gg into army...

worried: NYP...can get in??!! IF NOT HOW??!!

so yea...oh well.. i need to rest now...gotta run ard 2mr..hiaz... back to top?

I AM LOST

so wad if i have done considerably ok for A's?

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!!!!

and it DOESN'T help tt the closing date for application to NYP ends on 10th march.

that means i have decide soon...and REALLY FAST!!!

while nearly everyone is looking only at degree courses...i'm looking at diploma courses as well..so most of you wld have time to think abt wad you wanna do till abt april..i only have abt 5 days..i gotta call NYP 2mr and clarify some stuff..if i can like try for uni at the same time..i'll go ahead and just apply at NYP 1st and think abt uni aft tt..

but as i look at all the courses in uni...i am...scared...scared out of my wits...at what?

AT HOW BORING IT LOOKS !!!

my goodness...ok...go look!! go look at the science courses..pick anyone..read the modules or even wad the faculty is abt!!! its like A'level Chemistry and Biology magnified in horror x1000..its like :

The Undergraduate Life Science Curriculum is a 4-year degree program that provides you with a broad-based foundation in the first two years of study. Students take courses in cell, molecular and organismal biology as well as chemistry, biocomputing, bioinformatics and biostatistics. An additional year leads to a B.Sc. degree and the fourth year leads to a B.Sc. (Honours) degree. From Year 3 onwards, students can diverge into any of the following areas of concentration: 'Biomedical Science', 'Molecular and Cell Biology' or 'Biology'.

OMG!!! ARGH!!!! LOOK AT THAT!!! i mean..just learning abt it is fine..its interesting..thats how i got thru bio in sec sch and JC..coz it was interesting LEARNING abt it..but now..if i DO the degree...i am gonna be DOING IT..i can't imagine lah! its like...i'm INTERESTED in science...but i dun think i can dedicate myself to science to THAT level..tho the course says not ALL the graduates do research based work in the end...i'm quite sure that is a VERYVERY small minority..i mean...dude! they offer this degree because there is a market in singapore to support the crop tt the uni churns out..there are stable job prospectives in tt area...MOST ( and i DARE say at least 95%) do end up in research based..to do another field..i think you have to be outstanding in wad you do...

here's another:

The Chemistry course of NUS provides a broad training in inorganic, organic, physical, and analytical chemistry. Further qualification and specialization can be obtained during the Honours year and during postgraduate studies. Synthetic chemists find employment in product development and R&D in the polymer and particularly the fine chemical and pharmaceutical industries. Analytical chemists are sought after for quality control and customer support. Other chemists find employment in the government service in environmental protection, as forensic chemists, or in the customs and excise department.

oh goodness...din i tell you? a'level bio and chem horror magnified x1000? hiaz...i dunno man...i really really dunno...i'm really trying to give this a shot...this consider uni thing...i SHOULD consider uni..coz aft all my grades do kinda allow me a place in uni..its kinda a waste to NOT go uni..esp when there are ppl ard me who so desperately wanna go uni, it makes me think tt i should consider gg,to treasure the fruit of all my work,i may finally get the prestige i always wanted..to be in a "good" intstitute...as in considered in the eyes of the public..so tt for once i wun have to put up with the stereotype of:

" oh..she went there ah? maybe she din do too well.."

but now...the prestige may come with a heavy price...not doing wad i like..

i'm confused...i am at a total lost..

i'm not exactly PASSIONATE abt the work of physio and occu theraphy..but at least i have an interest in it..compared to all the sci courses in uni tt is..i like it coz well..its helping others and you make use of scientifc knowledge and the help tt you offer is direct one on one...you can ACTUALLY see the progress you have on a person..not like in a lab where you find a cure for sth or to imporve quality of life thru researching in a improved sthsth..but aft a while...doing it for years..i can't help but think tt well..you dun ACTUALLY SEE ppl benefitting from your work and service..its all good lah i mean..but i prefer to help others in actual HELP..being there..seeing the person grow and improve BEFORE your eyes..tt will be nice..

and well..i've asked many and well..the nature of the job is VERY extensive ..as in ..every case is DIFFERENT..so getting bored prob wun be an issue i guess..=S

by the way i'm talking...you must be wondering then why the hell am i having such a dilemma?! GO! JOIN NYP!!! i want to..but i'm not sure if i'm suited for that kinda course..physio involves human contact ( i guess i'm ok with it..i mean..if its necessary) and lots of patience and empathy..and i mean lots...i can't imagine lah..i'm taking a pri 2 boy and i'm loosing my patience with him now...the same will be for physio patients..some prob wun wanna go for it, or loose all hope and dun see the need for physio ,how the freak am i supposed to persuade and persuade and convince and convince them? =S

same prob goes for occu theraphy..both need patience LOTS of it..and understanding...PLUS...this one needs innovation and creativity..to design a prog or instrument to help the patient improve..the needs will change with time and during the course of the treatment...i dunno if i can do tt kinda thing..i need guidance and someone to assure me...no one seems to be supporting me other than my family..i need sth more than tt..coz well..i know my family will support me in all i do..i need a less "baised" assurance in tt sense..

all i can do now? PRAY..i really need it..this is more crucial than getting A's results..this choosing my direction in life..results set a boundary as to wad your options are..but options are still there and tt is where the choice has to be made..a wrong choice cld be devastating for the next 20 odd yrs..PRAY...good luck to everyone struggling with decisions too..let the Lord guide us on wad His plan is for us...seriously.. back to top?