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bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

man..this is gonna be a tiring week..

weekSSSSS rather..

got so many things due in a matter of weeks..the deadlines just get nearer and nearer as we get older and older...how unfair...ahahaha

anyway..lets just say tt im looking forward to thurs!! WHEE!!! LABOUR DAY!!! HOLIDAY!! hahah!! i mean yea sure theres school the next day and i might be aching all over from PE lesson from the prev day aka 2mr -__- but HEY! its LABOUR DAY!! ahahaha..and mass in the morning..heh..

MY GAD PE 2mr lehhh...HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?! VERY LONG............i wanted to go run today but i was simply too sleepy...2mr.....we'll see wad shit they'll make us do...

and believe it or not....i still havent decided wad to wear on sat -_- seriously..........i dunno why im even thinking this hard over it...ahahaha..too much nice green things and being bored with school makes you do things like tt.....

ok...FREAKIN WARM........im off to do work.. back to top?

ok fine maymay...

heres the update..

HAHAHAH!!!

well...BACK TO SCHOOL...

feels good but at the same time a lil more boring compared to clinicals...but yea...can relax a lil thats for sure..

but i think ive somehow changed in my mindset aft this round of clinicals...

im appreciating the value of reading up and research and knowledge outside of lessons and i know wad to look out for and listen out for more now..i mean..maybe im not really showing it yet but i feel it within me..im dreading gg to the library less.....FOR NOW....ahahahaa...hopefully this keeps up..

well...got a 21st coming up..the theme's green and white...you wld think tt i shldnt have a prob deciding wad to wear coz its like HEY! green. well guess wad? i AM having a tough time deciding...coz i realised most of the green things i own are sleeveless -_- nvm..can layer right? can. then comes the issue of how formal are we supposed to be?

hiaz...and actually the italian dress i bought is PERFECT in terms of colour but seriously...italian girls have issues...ahahaha...they love a lil cleavage, lots of leg and arms WHATEVER THEIR SIZE...........well..i din realise just to WHAT extent till i got back to SG and wore the dress...............YEA...it was actually ok when it was still new..i wore it once and then my sis started wearing it more and welll now the dress is a LIL out of shape and stretched...

and well..actually all tt can be worked out but i realised the biggest prob now is my HAIR...STUPID fringe..making things to difficult...i feel so toot lah no matter wad i wear..its the specs and tt hair.....hiaz...times like these i wish i had contacts......................i just realised this is starting to sound like a bimbo post...ok..it ends here.

ok...well...erm...been training up for 2.4 in a month's time...HA! of coz i havent tried running the full 2.4 but so far....erm...well...ive gone 1.3km and tt was in a very depressing time of which i do not wish to mention but i think its not bad considering how long its been since i ran tt far..ahahahaa...and i played badminton yesterday so yea...ive done my exercise at least 3 times a week thing this week...gotta keep it up...i dun intend to pass NAPFA btw...seems like no one in class is expecting to do well and some dun even intend to complete it...its like.."yi si yi si" only..HAHAHA..

wad else.....oh..yea...its the 1st week back and the harsh realities of yr 3 are hitting me in the face already...deadlines announced, familiarity with the lecturers, lessons and expectations...its already gonna be 3 years since i joined NYP....THAT is fast....

and theres some talent time thingy coming up in school and every class is expected to take part..its an OT event lah so its not like HUGE or anything...but in any case...my class has decided to" exploit "me and my music "bg" again AHHAHAH! lion sleeps tonight sung by a few ppl and the rest will do some "hand dance" to it...initial intention was to be sung with guitar but of coz with 2 acappella junkies in class (sam and myself) we're gg acapooku with those in class who have had choir bg or who wanna join to sing or sth...i mean..if you're gonna make me sing tt song tt brings back CJ memories( good and bad) might as well do it the best way EVA aka ACAPOOKU... HEH HEH HEH..

lucky i found my score and i found the acappella handbook tt we bought at the acappella fest thingy 2yrs back i think on how to rearrange from SATB to SSAA so VOILA! i did it on noteworthy and well..now its for vetting by the singing committee...ahahaah...hopefully it goes well..i have a nasty feeling i might be up for lead vocals...depending on which voice they chose to eliminate from the arrangement, ill HAVE to take the alto line coz i DOUBT anyone in class can hit it...ahhaha..and im not bragging but its not THAT low..ahah..then again coming from me, how accurate a measure can tt be right? ahahah.. back to top?

LOVELY

it all came to an end on fri

ADIOS CLINICALS HELLO WEEKEND OF FUN

AHAH!! thanks you guys for making last weekend a BLAST! havent had tt kind of hanging out in a long long long while...heh...wheeee...lookin forward to the next time...and if you're face is all O.o now...take a chill pill man...ahahahahahah!!!

anyway...school resumed today...it was stress-free tts for sure but lectures and lectures once aft another with assignments explained to us ...stress was of a diff kind...not to mention i felt a lil bored...i mean..we were just sitting listening and listening to lecturers....sometime since we all did tt man...almost a good 2 months or so....so yea...needs some tuning back but in any other case today was ok..

MUM AND DAD CAME HOME TODAY!!! they showed us pics and the vid of their holiday and well..din really miss much actually...looks like italy and switzerland smashed...like my mum said "poorer cousins of italy and switzerland"...so yea..they bought back lots of choc and stuff tho ( no surprise there tho) and she got me a new fossil watch!! WHEEE!!! so yay!!!!

anyway...i havent told my mum abt how clinicals ended...ahaha...prob will 2mr...and can i just say tt im getting FAT....i need to do sth man but im coming home late all these days...hiaz...maybe just a swim...i need to set a deal with myself man...not to mention NAPFA is coming up...in all seriousness i dun give a shit abt it...yea ill do my best but i wun be like devastated if i fail coz i KNOW im gonna fail...ive failed SBJ every yr of my life..if not by luck scrap by...so...HECK MAN....

ok..im feeling sleepy... back to top?

this sucks

who knew tt having the OTHER spectrum could ALSO cause this much amount of stress...

instead of wad most ppl think ( or wad i THOUGHT) tt you can relax a lil...not worry so much...in fact im getting MORE worried...im pushing myself even harder...i am SCARED out of my wits with the perception and expectation tt has now come along with it..

i was shocked initially, then a lil overwhelmed and now im just worried and stressed with meeting expectations...wrost part is................i dun think i can tell many ppl abt wad this is actually abt...so its on my blog as my outlet and for ppl who know to just....know better..ahaha..

what a time to buck up on personal education..on the last week of placements when there are only 2 more days...WTH seriously...wad i wld have given to be in my position at other placements but i guess i just dun feel good abt lying to myself..tt is NOT a good thing in this profession..to give a false facade......or is it? shld i just play along and not tell anyone but do a lot more behind the scenes self study and upgrading on knowledge? or shld i "come clean" and get feedback?

come clean for wad actually....ive never bluffed my way through...i made mistakes i forced myself to take on the challenge to make mistakes, i asked questions to clarify wad i was doing is not harmful and right...and tts all...i just did my best .....but why dun i feel like i deserve THIS much credit? is this just a confidence issue and me pushing and expecting too much of myself? or am i REALLY good? i seriously doubt im THAT good...WHAT IS GOOD? i dun even know what good is in all honesty...if i have to compare to any of the OTs there...then im def not GOOD...why am i being so harsh on myself? it was coz it was inflicted onto me...the expectations are of tt level in all honesty..perception= expectation..

2 more days...ill just continue doing wad i HAVE been doing the past 5 weeks plus...cum fri and the eval, i'll have no more worries except to worry abt employment issues...worry...........if you got the gist of wad was happening up there tt is...

im pushing myself harder than ever on knowledge expansion on these last few days when most others are just taking it at tt comfortable speed...i know i should if i know wads good for me...but is this MY field? has God finally shown me where to go in OT? i shldnt doubt but i cant help doubting since i've never been an anatomy-ish, physical-ish kinda person..just take a look at my grades on the hands paper...but then again...id like to try them questions again...........i just learnt tt im a practicing, visual later on complimented with reading kinda learner..hmmmmmmm

OK..LETS GO BETCH !! and someone tell me if i should bring up this matter of expectations FLYING IN THE HEAVENS on fri..........................................help. back to top?

OH MY GAD

ONE MORE WEEK

5 MORE DAYS

i cant wait

i REALLY cant

in fact in my brain my hols have begun...ahaha..

AHHHH!!

PLEASE LORD LET TIME FLY...LET IT FLY TO FRIDAY IN A JIFFY..let it soar and let it fly...

tts all i can think of now...time to fly ..but not too fast...i dun want 3B to come YET...sucks tt its during my birthday i tell you..

AHHHH!!! all i can think abt is for friday to come...friday to come friday to come...friday friday comecomecome...im so bored...i shld be doing work but im not..ahahahaa!!! lovely...

this is purely a nonsensical post just for me to have an outlet to say I WANT TIME TO FLY!!!

HANG IN THERE NESS...soon it'll be over... back to top?

hiaz...

ok ness...its the last leg..learn all you need to learn this last week..ask 2mr wad you shld do for the last week..wad more can i learn and do? get feedback!!!

its coz you feel like you're given too much unduly credit...and its making you uneccissarily complacent...you KNOW you're not THAT good..its good your sup prob doesnt REALLY know but YOU KNOW and tts enough...DO STH!!! till now you still cant recite std protocol for DR#......you are such a loser...one more week...show your power babe...

YES I WILL... I WILL DO WAD IT TAKES FOR MY LAST LAP OF HANDS LEARNING AND GROWING....FEED OFF..FEED OFF THE KNOWLEDGE...i may not be this lucky to have SUCH a nice sup on 3B..

did i mention 3B is during my bdae!!!?!?!?! 18th august is freaking right SMACK in the middle of 3B..and did i mention i have to do NAPFA?! in a month?! MY GAD..and there are PE lessons!!! yDyD....sure fail one lahhhh...

ok...off to think... back to top?

all i can do is sigh...

seriously..i dunno why but my learning has sorta stopped...somehow ive lost the motivation to wanna know more...i think my brain is tired...my initiative is slowly depleting...

yes...im still asking questions but somehow i feel the drive dying and the anticipation dying as well...i think even my sup can sense it but she's so nice so i guess shes trying to not stress me out too much.......is she being too nice? ppl are so hard to please...too nice also complain, shitty also complain...AIYAH!!! i dunno lah...im pretty sure the prob lies with me............BUT I DUNNO WAD EXACTLY IS WRONG!!! is it just a pure case of sian-ness? lazy-ness? i dunno...

i CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY!!! theres pract and its the weekend!! the only thing tt will be gone are my parents and the beginning of just me and my sis for 12 days or so.....so hopefully everything goes well..

i wanna try to finish my mgt draft tonight so i can go out 2mr with less of a worry...if not....i guess my fun really only starts on friday with a balance of doing tt damned assignment...HIAZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....

I MISS ALL MY FRIENDS!!!! i dunno why this wave just came but yea...i miss having everyone here...i miss practs with the whole of acareak..i miss practs being more than just once a week.....i miss seeing my friends more than once a week....i think this is all stemming from listening to penny loafers sing hear you me....haha..friday come quick...faster faster.... back to top?

anyway..

when the orchirds were in bloom...

back to top?

YAYYYY!!!

its thursday!!! one more day to go to the weekend!!! WOOHOO!!

HEH HEH HEH

anyway..im wrecking my brains over the CRD due on monday for scrutiny by the whole dept...linda had her's today and boy...was it nerve wrecking..i mean 7 or 8 clinicians sitting ard and questioning you...its worse than just a lecturer in school...ahaha..well my turn on monday...hopefully its good enough so tt i dun need to make too many changes to it for tues's presentation in school..

YAY! pract 2mr!!!! LOVELY....really...i miss singing on a more frequent basis..really acts as stress relief...takes your mind off work and all..allows you to clear your mind...

ok..brain damn tired now...cant think anymore for CRD....rest....rest... back to top?