If you're here you probably know/knew me
Whatever the case, help yourself to my blahblahs, however interesting they may be.


bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

today..

i realised how fast i have built rapport with the residents at Pelangi

i think its the fastest ive actually build rapport with anyone in any of my placements

i think having a partner ard helps

and i think MFT helped too


i din realise till i sat down at the newspaper area today as i sourced for today's paper for my sup's session in the afternoon

residents were all walking ard or sitting ard

one by one they came to join me and talk to me..

they all have more initiative than i do actually...i shld learn from them . and i finally understand what they mean when they say that there is always sth your clients can teach you, you dont have to be the one teaching all the time.

weird i shld say tt...considering how they are not "supposed" to have much initiative according to books...i guess those are for the lower functioning kinds..

but wad really touched me today was when one of the uncles as he appeared from behind and came to stand next to me and started singing...to me.

he always sings in the corridor as he cleans anyway...frank sinatra, malay songs...

and wad did he sing to me?



yea...the Eagles, Love Will Keep Us Alive...

ahaha..he cld rmb ALL the lyrics..his speech was slightly slurred but then again most of them have tt problem..but i cld make out the words he was singing and prompted him to sing more....just to test his memory..ahaha...i joined him here and there...i wanted to harmonise but i was afraid i'd throw him off...so yea..ahaha..and i applauded him at the end and he said " thank you =)" and walked away..

that was probably one of the best performances tt ive ever heard. simply because it was so sincere and raw and it came from an uncle whom i've only known for the past 8 days who wld ask me if ive had my free kopi ( all residents get a HUGE mug of free coffee) and occasionally mention abt how he's like superman. and not to mention, he's got vibrato in his voice lor.....ahaha..a nice one at tt.

and then came another resident who ive also only known for the past 8 days and he invited me to a game of badminton as i was sitting there flipping through the newspapers...i wanted to play SO BADLY!!!!! but i had to do work...hiaz...i wanted to walk by and wacth them play but by the time i was ready to watch..they werent there anymore...might have changed their mind seeing how their attention might wander...

an invitation to a game of badminton and a singing performance...THATS wad made my day.
gave me this comforting wave of sth...i was reminded why i chose OT somehow...to help others realise their potentials, to engage them back in function in a functional way, appreciating the simple, taken-for-granted value of activity..you never really know what it means till its taken away from you..

and when you see individuals who have chronic schizophrenia and are functioning the way they do, it reminds you of what YOU can do as a therapist for them..

not to mention also when i heard Ain't Nobody playing on the radio was my sup was busy...i was like groovin'..with our version playing in my head of course..ahaha..

here's hoping 2mr will be as inspiring a day.

long time since i wrote sth like tt huh? ahah back to top?

OH MY GOODNESSSSS!!!!

last night was UBER FUN

tiring yes

but FUN!!!!

long time since i did stuff like tt in a looooong while

LETS DO IT AGAIN!!!!!

if you dunno wad im talking abt...ying,may,dan,fio and i went on the FLIGHT OF THE NIGHT OWL RACE ard the 5 museums....wait for pics on facebook from ying =)

ahaha...hopefully next round they'll be more organised about it...sheesh man..make us run there and then the clue is cancelled, then make us all the way to this other place and the game is so weirdly structured tt is NOT race-friendly.....FAIL ACTIVITY ANALYSIS SIA...ahaha...i did too actually..heh..but thats beside the point...ahaha

so we dropped out coz of tt game..and being the law-abiding, concrete people tt we are...and mud-fearing for some...we decided to drop out lor...if we waited for our turn to play the mud game and by tt time it wld be past 1130 then well..we cant proceed any further also without the clue from mud game...so....go mac's and hydrate lor..and we walked back to Philatelic Museum and Peranakan Museum and went in to actually look ard and we saw tt the game was still gg on despite it being past 1130 coz apparently there was no winner yet...so we helped a few teams at the peranakan museum...tt place's task was really kinda tough and we got it as 1st station somemore..ahah.. and ended off at National Museum to get our bags and check out the fashion gallery...NICE...wanna go back there again.......

anyway..how has clinicals been?

well....erm....interesting?

interesting is always a good word to use when you're at a loss for words or torn..

i havent been doing a lot of OT stuff and when i do sth its just out of normal everyday experience altho slightly brain-draining but yea..i wanna be FLOODED with information....PLEASE!!!! the most interesting thing ive done so far? help shave the heads of 4 uncles.....

and being one of the few young chinese females in the home.....we kinda get a lot of attention....some unwanted altho i know they just lack the social skills and i shldnt be TOO affected...i just feel a LITTLE weirded out sometimes...i guess ill get used to it...the lady residents havent been coming into the hub for some time now so i guess the place is even MORE deprived of female presence...

hiaz..past few days have been like...i dunno...both of us are just carrying out SDL and sometimes i get the feeling im being treated as staff...i dont mean in terms of performance expectations but rather like temp staff? yah...i dunno lah...hopefully i gets better when i start running my own groups...i cant stand the way the facils run their groups...seriously not all of them are therapeutic..its the QUALITY dude..they have tons of progs but the quality...well..maybe i havent seen enough...please prove me wrong...

when i think back...seriously...Theresa, your group facil skills RAWK compared to anyone ive seen tt is NOT an OT..hiaz...you ought to come over and teach these ppl...i guess she really has the interests of the clients at heart liek they're her parents...but then again tt was a normal nursing home with a few with psych probs....oh well..its attitude to work at the end of the day..

aahhaha..welll got back at abt 2.45-3am? yea..and now ive been up since 9 to discuss FYP....bleah.......damn sleepy...i wanna go for a swim later..and then i need to start reading up and thinking abt my groups....

i wanna go back to the museum!!!! and i cant wait for pract!!! and well...some other stuff next week..ahahahaa... back to top?

well..

yep..its monday 21st july in 8 minutes..

1st day of clinicals are about to commence

this is the usual round of butterflies in stomach feeling which i abhore

which means the next few hours will not be good rested sleep

i couldnt bring myself to read anything over the weekend

i mean..we JUST finished exams!!

i played the whole of sat..so YAY! ahah
but its not enough :(

i nuaed today
but its not enough :(

fine...im being a brat but...YEAAAA!!! i want more time to nua and exercise!!!!!

and thinking abt getting there 2mr is so irritating!!!!! i hope i dont get lost...this is why i like hospitals....its not hidden in some ulu-fied place...BLEAH!!!

ok...wish me luck!!

and once again i DON'T need to wear uniform!! ahahahaha...YAY!!!

ok...sleep....listening to ramblers sing what goes ard is kinda calming...
back to top?

well..

i was actually gonna come on and blog sth utterly depressing abt the exams

but after my nap just now

i feel better

but the feeling of impending doom still lingers

just not tt much now

i guess in summary of my initial-intended post was tt every of my exam papers so far seem like just a go-in-and-whack kind of thing

it seems to be the case for everyone else as well

the feeling sucks by the way even tho its mutual.

this is how the convo before the paper is:
"haiyohhhh....howw??!!?!? i cannot rmb anything!!!!"
" i alsooooooo!!!!! HOWWWW?!!?"
- we're told its time to go in for the paper-
" ok...just go and whack lah.."
"time for creative writing again.."

after the paper:
" how?! i couldnt finish the paper.."
"aiyoh...study for wad lahhhhh...seriouslyyyyy......."
" it felt like i was blogging lah.."
"machiam creative writing essay again can?"
" why liddat?!! its not like never study lorrrr.."

so those are all the responses ive heard so far and i agree with every one of them...we struggle to retrieve information, see how it applies, pen down enough to TRY to meet the marks allocated to the damn question...takes too long to think..takes too long to write...before you know it its over..the answers MAY LOOK long enough but substance-wise...im doubtful...i think we all are in a way..some more than others...

all this mutual agreements could be just a " say only lah" kind of thing and might not be true for everyone tho everyone says it but...yea...i believe im not alone...i wldnt usually be THIS worried but i guess its just the fact tt i wanted to use this round of results to start applying for la trobe..so...erm....well...i dunno...i just hope it maintains...PLEASE...and if it doesnt...PLEASE DONT LET ME FAIL...PLEASE!

and abt clinicals...hiaz...i was initially just a lil down tt im gg to pelangi but after hearing and talking more abt it to ppl who have gone there....and even my MFT sup ( yea..she came to talk to me online randomly) .....there really is NOTHING MUCH to do at pelangi...WTHHHHHH!!!! i love you wendy.

i wanted to have a HIGHLY INFORMATION-FILLED MENTAL HEALTH PLACEMENT, whether 3B or 3C. i wanted to know what i was really getting myself into if i wanted to claim this as my area of preferance...now not only do i stand the chance of not understanding the essence of mental health, i might actually get bored and change my mind abt it IF this proves to be another nursing-home-like-experience...i guess if it happens then it does right?

and yes i know..the learning is for me to construct.

and i am quite motivated to try to extract what i can and try to make some change tho ive been told the environment doesnt really help it along in terms of resources and the general nature of the place....i guess it might get a lil un-inspiring but yea....i need to get myself in da zone man....lets do tt over the weekend lah...now...i have to prep for my last paper....

was feeling kind of demotivated from last night already...somehow it just feels like its all not gonna come to anything..2mr altho we have been given slightly more specific things to work with....well.........you can never be too sure.....lovely....

ok...looking forward to the evening of dance and the weekend b4 pelangi comes into my life for 2 WHOLE MONTHS.... back to top?

alright

now tt the angst has somewhat worn off over the weekend as i panick- well...not exactly but i WAS trying to study..its time to go back to the more vanessa-ish posts

so today was the 1st day of exams..

yes i still have papers

2mr..

and the day after

and the day after..

yep..basically everyday this week.

so how was it?

i guess it was as good as it could get.

Clinical reasoning was really nothing tt i cld prepare for so it was really just a react-on-the-spot-hantam-bola (did i spell tt right?) kinda thing....i read conditions in OT to prepare but wadeva i got in the end was NOTHING tt i had read and have had limited exposure to aka right radial masectomy resulting in right upper limb lymphedema. -yes, allow me to sound smart for what its worth can? ahah

SO...what could i do? i tried to recall all tt i have heard abt lymphedema in TTSH..my sup did all the lymphedema cases but i never got to see one coz well...the patient has to strip so yea..id be reading up when a lymphedema case came...is it lymphedema or lymphodema? anyway..so yea...i tried to milk it for all its worth ( sounds kinda wrong in this context)..

all tt i cld think of in terms of the physical sci of it...and when it came to tackling psychosocial sexuality issues well..more like i was just thinking of everything and anything so i mentioned it but i din really address it in the rest of the questions where we were supposed to chose one area we wanted to deal with the patient..everyone else did the sexuality thing i think..so erm..well..no right or wrong but..i feel uneasy..ahaha..

so yes i wrote and wrote all tt i could...1 hr really flew by...and now its only 1/2 over...we revisit the same case cum friday and in the meantime we're supposed to research and plan treatment...woohoo! in the midst of studying for all the other papers in between...sweeeet.

so anyway..socio was as good as it cld get also so hopefully i get wad i want to get for it..im not saying it out lest...you know....pantang lah...ahaha..2mr's physio..i only covered 3/4 reading thru..have yet to memorise and well..dunno wad the essay topics are so its like WOOHOO hantam bola again...im starting to like tt phrase a lot..ahaha..why am i blogging? just felt like it...i need to do all these redundant things 1st b4 starting work one..ahaha..tts the only way ill concentrate better..

and i got my clinical posting for 3B aka for the next 2 months of my life...i have been posted to...

*drumroll*

pelangi village @ hougang area

mental health community setting.

i was kinda relieved and also a lil disappointed

i wanted a mental health placement that was acute aka IMH. ( NUH psych wld have been the best option) but oh well...i might be more motivated to learn more so lets just see..ahah..im kinda excited seeing how ive always wanted to see if mental health is really for me..ive always kinda been telling myself tt this is my area of interest without actually having had a chance to try it out..

i was thinking i might go to SGH thinking tt i might go on my acute inpatient placement for 3B but i guess not...and ill have to go thru another round of worrying cum 3C. i wish it was 3B tt i wld go for acute inpatient in a way coz...well....altho longer, expectations are lower compared to 3C so...well...its OK! im thankful! i wanna go AH for acute inpatient lah...i guess good im gg pelangi now...can pray for AH again next round ..but knowing my luck, now tt ive said it.......erm...ok..lets just leave it..ahaha..

OK! off to study physio and 2mr its time to pia for psychosocial..i NEED to do well in tt one but i havent studied for tt one..woohoo...oh happy day...OH WELL...we'll see how it goes then..im looking forward to the weekend man... back to top?

yes...

im here to blog again

well..had a angsty afternoon

very angsty

i think it stems from frustration

frustrated tt it just never seems 'right-enough' no matter how hard we try

no matter how much thought we put into it

yes, im talking abt FYP.

we all had to present our FYP stuff today to the lecturers and peers

i know the point of it was to help us along

- from this point onwards, ness is trying to rationalize her thoughts as usual. this is her way of coping. this is how she puts her mind in perspective. so if content appears to be HIGHLY subjective..that really is wad it is. If it comes across as trying to justify wrongdoings,so be it.-

but why does it always turn out to be a 'shoot-em-down' session?

we just want HELP
we've already thought all tt we can..when we present whatever we have to you, it what we have produced when we've reached saturation point (ha! i cldnt resist not that word)...its not like we dun think thru stuff when we do it..everytime we meet lecturers its like preparing to go into the sacrificial chamber..like wad rah said " you think we carry out the self-fufilling prophecy when we meet them? its like we know we're gonna get shot down so we let them shoot us down" and i agree to a certain extent. to a certain extent because we DO make out points clear when we know the 2 parties are not on the same page. just that i think we dont do it often enough coz we're not confident that we KNOW.

i know aft a while it just seems like its all just gg in one big pathetic mindless circle.

The irony is...

We KNOW why we came to this conclusion but somehow no one REALLY sees it the way we do and somehow without giving us a chance to explain ourselves fully, they shoot us down. make us feel 'guilty' for not having thought of it ..and when we reflect aft the session, we realise tt we actually did but 1) werent sure if we were on the same page 2) too scared? 3) we just tend to take everything that they say to be the absolute truth? i dunno..

im not saying tt their comments are of not value..they are def of value. im just saying HOW MUCH of it is applicable? and i admit in me saying this, i agree with NaC in tt " cld it be tt we're too absorbed in our own reasoning?" i think tt is a high possibility but i guess we'll never be sure till they REALLY hear us out.

you have to understand man..we have 2 Cs and 3 Ss in our group. we go into details and so our 'reasoning-foundation' is really rather solid if you ask me. and its easy to reach a consensus and once we do..we sorta persist in it of coz not because we wanna be asses duh. if you really want us to break it and take a turn..you need to KNOW where we're REALLY coming from b4 you suggest if we break it or go in a different direction.

we're not saying tt our foundation is right. we never dared to claim tt. but its not right then to say tt its wrong or tt we din give it enough thought, coz we all know tt we DID. never in my life have my analytical skills been put to the test of tt level for anything school-related.

with tt...yes..it may seem tt we're stubborn or inflexible but yea..theres a reason for it and unless we have sth to tell us tt we must take a turn i dun think we ever will deviate much coz wad we've already concluded is what we think is best and makes the most sense to us..so yes...wendy, its time you REALLY sat down and REALLY hear us out. maybe with the proposal submitted now, you kinda have no choice right?

we'll make the ammedments and we know why we need to but i guess its just tt we're all feeling demoralised now and tt it seems like we're on our own...wayy to much on our own. im just trying to salvage whatever "dignity", if you will, at this point in time so tt we dun lose too much hope..analysing group dynamics? maybe tts wad im doing..ahaha..

AND MY DEAR FYPIANS..

all i have to say is tt..even aft we settle on the questionnaire..it WILL NEVER END till FYP ends...but we have to see it as a means to ensuring quality in our research process. coz yes, this really is the point in them 'shooting us down'.

we put ourselves out there today with the screenshot of the questionnaire ( sth the other groups din do if i rmb correctly) so we really kinda threw ourselves, 'naked' if you will, out there but i guess its good because it allows us to make changes earlier. rather than making ourselves seem bloody prepared when we actually might have loop holes.

so lets look at this positively.

yes, its never easy hearing tt wad you've done isnt good enough despite you trying so hard but its a learning process and we might as well get used to it coz we have lots more of it to deal with in time to come. and aside from getting used to it, take it tt when we put ourselves out there to be criticised, we actually gain more out of it compared to someone who "hides" it. im not saying the other groups hid ok..its just an analogy...ahaha..

and im not saying tt even at the end of all this, we will definitely have a fantastic research paper but tts not to say tt we cant aim for that. aim high and do all you can to get there.
if you land, there then yay!
if you land near enough, its not too bad!
and
if you didnt really land tt near, theres nothing to feel sad or regret about because its not like we din try our darnest. if our darnest is not the best then so be it.
its yet another lesson in life. life is not centered ard FYP or school. rmb that.

so hopefully this helps you, my grp members ( if you're reading) if you needed some words of wisdom and perspective from ness to help you along..it usually doesnt help much but yea..lets just keep tt perspective in mind for FYP and concentrate on our exams 1st =)

come to think of it...sounds like the perils of Clinicals as well if you think abt it..tt same amt of stress...i know i had to give myself this self-talk at 2A...ahaha..and believe me when i say it REALLY got me down and self-doubt was at its highest..

ok..in case you havent already realised from this absurdly long post..im trying to set my mind in the right perspective as well..so tt i can start studying..

and on to the topic of studying and exams..

hiaz...dunno why but ive been thinking a lot abt my grades recently...

I NEED TO GET INTO LA TROBE
and even if i dont

its not about that

it about my capabilities as a future OT tt i question.

in response jon's tag, i went to look up WHAT exactly it means to get a 3.

the 3 tt ive always been a small, but strangely significant decimal point short of.

i never REALLY knew wad it meant to get a 3 other than tt it was good enough to get into uni.

so yes, 3 is a B average.

come to think of it..wad im doing now seems to be reflective of my A's grade..always tt much short of B average..ahaha..i think its just the way it is.....thats the way it is..* cue celine dion music*..ahah..

so yes ness..lets aim for that B average grade again this round tho i think its gonna be EVEN tougher this round seeing the amount of time i have left..but LETS GIVE IT A SHOT AGAIN NONTHELESS..i kinda dun have a choice actually or i might just kill myself..ahaha but yea!!! gotta have a lil faith in meeeeeeee...aim high! aim high! no regrets man...its never total failure if you have no regrets..

and clinical postings are out on monday....please please please................PRAY FOR MEEEEE back to top?

oh great...

i just heard more news..

la trobe's 2.8

but they only take in 40 students...

so tt means..


i have to get a 3 to stand a good chance

OH MY GAAAAAD

HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?

i wanna cry already lahhh back to top?

OH MANNNNN!!!!

i hate this!!!!

WHY CANT I STUDY?!?!

i cant seem to get down to it proper

and its bloody irritating coz i KNOW tt i have to maintain my grade this round or get better ones for tt matter...i wanna appply to la trobe already lahhhhhhhh...need to maintain or i wont stand a chance lahhhhh...

but its so little time and so much to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

TZAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

i seem to be blogging almost everyday now...must be the stress...ahaha

BUT REALLYYYYYYY

ok time to go on my round of self-talk..

ness..youve got to study and do your best this round..maintain the 2.8 and above then YES we can start applying...if not then...nvm..there's always sem 2 to apply...right?

wait..sem 2 IS all tt i will have to apply...SHIIIIIIIIITTT!!!

this is NOT working man...

OK! off to try to cram wadeva i can before the next round of studying 2mr...and the following day..mannn i wanted to catch the acappella group at SAC this sunday but.....I GOTTA STUDY...i dunno how good or bad they are....WHICH IS WHY i wanna go...ahaha..and tannie's performing on sat also...TZAAAAHH!!

and theres FYP presentation 2mr...lovely...i think we're gonna get shot down...so...erm..WOOOHOO!! shootemdown shootemdown na na na na na naoo

OK! looking forward to NEXT fri when its ALL OVER ......for a while...then its clinicals..

oh please dont send me to SGH..i mean the hospital... back to top?

i just needed to blog

write sth down somewhere

so here it is

how was viva?

lets just say all tts left to do now is pray tt i pass

coz really..tts all i really wanna do..PASS

im ok with getting a pass on this and not aiming for the heavens coz i know i wld have done better on other circumstances

so yea

anyway

now tt tts out of the way

its time to prep for the exams tt are damn freaking soon

im running out of time

i need to increase or maintain my GPA man

tts the only way i can start applying to la trobe early

STUDY STUDY STUDY

but NO

the school makes us come back for talks and to give presentations

WTH
hiaz

ok...im off now tt ive ranted... back to top?

its viva tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or today rather

HOW?!?!?

i dun feel prepared

i just finished reading all the lecture notes

i have yet to revise the pract notes and watch the vids

i have yet to memorise the models and all the ax stuff for the written component

SAVE MEEE

i am somehow very thankful that my timeslot is at 520pm

more time

i wldnt usually like it but i do in this circumstance coz im short on time to study

so why am i blogging??

coz im stressed

im scared

i work on fear

and it sucks

my mind is like gg into shock mode

wanting to blank out

=((((((((

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME

I DONT WANNA FAIL THIS

I CANNOT back to top?

lovely

i love fyp

ive been up since 9am yesterday...

yep..

doing FYP

of course with the short breaks in between for music therapy talk and meals.

but at least we're finally done

with the PROPOSAL

THIS IS ONLY THE PROPOSAL DAMMIT

we're only pia-ing this hard coz well..technically we still have today ( sunday) to do it but we need time to study for viva...so yea...

so basically we "slept-over" at sarah's..

without sleeping AT ALL

we worked through the night

never in my life

have i been out of my house doing work till the next morning for a project

and im sure there are more of these to come

i called home to tell them i have to stay over...mum was sleeping so dad gave his consent and said not to do it again...

well..i think im gonna have to disappoint you dad coz....its more likely tt as this research progresses ill have to stay out late even more...soo...yea...we need to work things out yo..

besides tt...im leaving once we're done...bathe and sleep a few hours and then its time to prepare to go for mass..and aft tt do housework and study then a family function...WOW!!! where on earth am i to find tt energy? we'll have to see..

its not even like ive had good amts of sleep the past week to supplement me this energy to stay up lor..average sleeping time last week was 2am..

welll....lets jiayou FYPians!!! we've all got viva on tues to worry abt too so YAY tt this is out of our way...enjoy wads left of sunday...rest if you need to...=) besides..we still have A LOT MORE OF FYP AHEAD OF US...

id blog abt music therapy in detail but its too much work to do tt now...and i had to ponder and think and think and analyse all the way from SAC to the train to toa payoh that i FINALLY got a better idea of wad it was....ahahaha...complex stuff yo...

OK! we're on the last leg for the proposal... GO GO!! back to top?

tiring



damn tiring



i feel drained



doesnt seem like theres a lot of things to do



but there actually is



so damn weird



and moreover



viva is next week



and im the LAST PERSON of the day



WTH



520pm



what kind of time is tt?



make me panic the whole damn day



and ppl are pissy and wanna go home



HIAZ



and then exams are coming soon and i havent even started studying



and theres FYP proposal



SO IRRITATINGGGG



anyway...im so happy tt theres a music therapy thing gg on at SAC on sat an i can go!! WOOHOO!!! like wad jon said, its like jon how read my mind..is this a sign? HMMmmMmmM...my lecturer was just talking abt skill expertise today...is tt another sign? HmmMMmmmmMmmmmm...



WELL



im psyched to get my acareak tee!!!!!!! its GREEN!!! and PRETTY!!!!!!



YAY YAY YAY!!!!



thanks dan!



and im having all these boils coming out at the weirdest places. i just hope it doesnt develop into sth serious...i know princess's did..she told me it'd come back and it did...bloody hell..what did i do man?!



anyway...i was gg thru facebook again and i realised tt we're really getting old...but somehow i still feel 18 or sth...or maybe i still act 18 or sth...



i dunno?!



what is age-appropriate??



i think im age-apporpriate..everyone in school's like me...and im like them..



but why is it when i go thru facebook profiles of sec sch frens i see the difference..plump ones have lost weight and look great, ppl are dolling up more, getting attached, ppl are doing wad they've always dreamed of doing like being a fashion designer...HOW COOL IS THAT?! and me....?



i dun think theres anything wrong with me fyi. i mean...acting your age is really a mental thing. your sense of responsibility, maturity, perspective, self-esteem, self-confidence..who you are as a person basically. so yes...external presentations of self does say sth but when theres tt choice to be made, the way you deal with it determines how '21' you are... but i guess we're only young once. but tt doesnt mean go wreck havoc to the extent your youth was all you cld ever talk abt coz it stopped there. maybe its true...i might be too cautious for my own good sometimes. what to do? strong sense of self mah...AHAHAHAHAH!!



im starting to think i was spouting rubbish there...too damn sleepy...im supposed to be doing work now......back to work then... back to top?