If you're here you probably know/knew me
Whatever the case, help yourself to my blahblahs, however interesting they may be.


bolditalicunderlinestrikeout

ha..took this mood analysis test..its quite cool...quite accurate...everyone shld go and do!! its accurate for me in the sense oft he confidence part..ver very accurate for now...A's and all..UGH...
ahahahere's my result------------------------------

You are striving to make favorable impressions all of the time and you are going out of your way to make the impression that you are something special. You are constantly on the watch to see how your friends and neighbors are reacting to your various ploys. But this is so unnecessary because most of the time you are in control of the situation - and you are, in the nicest sense of the word, a 'manipulator' because you use various strategies very cleverly in order to influence and obtain the necessary recognition.

You 'need to be needed'. As an idealist you are intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to you. If you do not get what you seek you are apt to become reclusive and you will close the doors on all those within your sphere of influence.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavor but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.

You need to be respected as an exceptional individual. This is the only way that you can hope to achieve the status that you wish to achieve. You set yourself very high standards - and come what may - you abide by them.
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cool huh? anyway..i;m sick now...ugh...doc gave 2 dorwsy medicine...feeling all doozy now...=S and yay!!! melia is coming over to sleep over at my place 2mr!! AHAHA!!! mum and dad are flying off for a weekend holiday..hahaha... back to top?

ARGH!!!!

ONE WEEK OF PRELIMS IS OVER!!!

and wad are my sentiments?

PISSED at myself
DISSAPOINTED in myself
UPSET tt all my effort was good as nth
SCARED i am gonna flunk the last 2 papers as well and tt my A's are gonna screw up

its damn depressing to know you are just walking towards your failure...each paper...i study!!! its not like i am someone who doesn't care...WHYWHYWHY???!!!! i wanna do well..i wanna get my promo grades for A levels...wanted them or to be CLOSE to them for the prelims..i guess i wun geddit...WTH!!! i feel soo sad..=(

anyway..ha...was online talking just now using the laptop tt is DARN slow...now i'm using my comp...yay!! ITS FINALLY BACK!!!ahaha...trying to view the ryan cabrera mtv for Shine On..well..its not playing..i dunno how it is...so yea... prob drop by 2mr n hopefully can watch it..ahaha...

well..today melia,my sis and i met to go bukit merah lib to study...haha...it was good...for the first 3 hrs...then closer ot lunch we lost it...its a good place ot study...BUT!! haha...we are doing it against the rules...the table put a notice saying tt strictly NO self-study on weekdays at the tables...but...oh well..we did anyway...and so were many other ppl...so yea...aahhaha...aft tt went for lunch and off to my house to contd where...well..we din really carry out...aahhaaha...oh well..it was good while it lasted..the study tt is..ok man...i am gonna sleep now...so er..yea... back to top?

OH NO!!!!!!

PRELIMS!!!!

NO!!!!

*hyperventilates*

ok...spent the whole of sept hol studying...like yea...evryday go back to school to study..ha...actually..its quite shiok..like you subject your brain to torture evryday for abt 10 to 12 hrs...its quite cool...BUT!!!! its NOT cool when prelims are just in a matter of days and tt you haven't really finished MUCH at all for ANY subject..and this is the freaking prelims man...like...they say tt prelims is supposed to be a good gauge on your A's results...ok..if tts the case right...i can tell you now wad i'm gonna get for A's now...possibly Es all the way....i'm like sooooooo not prepared lah...

its already sat and i've only finished organic chem and i'm still left with physical and inorg..maths finishing the 1st 3 mnths work now..still left with stats and i need extra integration practice...and bio...MY GOSH! tt is the worst out of the 3..and wads worse...its the first paper of the week..paper 1 and 2 somemore...tts the whole of core lah...and dun even talk abt option ok? i only can rmb now vauguely male and female reproductive systems...NO idea on plants and growth curves and 4got all on the thyroid stuff i read like ages ago..all i read looong time ago...i guess its doesn't pay off at all...ARGH!!!

comp broke down so i haven't been gg online much..which i guess is good...less distraction...i can use it now coz well..got it fixed but its abt to go back for fixing again...yep...its screwing up again...oh well..anyway..need to go back to bio revision soon...just lemme say tt i am gonna do badly for prelims..i am NOT gonna get the grades i desire for SURE and i am gonna have to burn the whole of my october to study for A's DUH!

i find it so hard to study for A's now...its like..i'm studying towards sth sooo unsure..my goal is not really there...wait...my goal seems like sth i dun really haf to work for...ahahaha..i dunno...stereotype? i dunno...i can't help it..its just the whole " go POLY??!! WHY??!!! waste time!!!" and the whole poly-is-for-ppl-who-can't-make-it-to-jc stereotype..well.if ONLY NUS had degree in physiotheraphy...and the best part is tt i'm not even sure i WANT to do physiotheraphy..i dun even noe wad i want...and s'pore wants more ppl in the health sector and they dun even make options for ppl to pursue their degrees here..gotta go overseas...and DON'T tell me i can always go GET a scholarship...ppl make it sound like a scholarship is sth tt you can just pop by the provision shop and buy one...NO LOR...ARGH! well..yea...we'll see wad God has in store for me...now i've just gotta do my best and see how mfar prelims will take me...A's...i'm gonna score and i'm gonna give myself options rather than let the options decide for me...yea!!! ok..this is gonna be hard...ahaha...good luck to evryone!! back to top?